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Wednesday, May 21, 2014

5 Monsters We DON'T Want In Godzilla 2

Earlier this week you may have seen an article here on GeekRex on 5 Monsters We WANT In Godzilla 2. With that in mind, we now bring you a list of five more of Toho's monsters....this time these are the monsters which should NOT be in a sequel to Gareth Edwards' Godzilla.  Most of these choices should be understandable, but there just might be at least one to debate.

5. Gigan
First Appearance: Godzilla versus Gigan (1972)
Why He Should NOT Be In The Sequel: When one looks at Gigan, he actually has a lot of things going for him.  The creature is clearly everything ridiculous and awesome about the kaiju genre at the same time.  It is precisely because of that absurdity that Gigan would NEVER work in the same world as Gareth Edwards' film.  Gigan is another Godzilla foe who hails from space.  In the previous article, we mentioned that Ghidorah's alien origins could be done well enough to satisfy viewers craving the more "grounded" approach.  But Gigan isn't just an alien...he is, essentially, an alien cyborg chicken.  Only one of those words works for the world established in Godzilla.  Considered one of Godzilla's deadliest foes, Gigan is actually one of the only Toho monsters to visibly cause Godzilla to bleed.  This is, obviously, due to the large blades Gigan has for hands.  Like a lot of comic book characters, Gigan is proof that something can look cool on paper, but just falls apart when a film wants to be taken seriously.

4. Hedorah
First Appearance: Godzilla versus Hedorah (1971)
Why He Should NOT Be In The Sequel: Hedorah was a choice that this writer actually debated about quite a bit when forming this list.  In theory, Hedorah is a monster which could actually work in a sequel to Godzilla.  Also known as the Smog Monster, Hedorah is the embodiment of Earth's pollution and environmental problems, despite actually having extraterrestrial origins.  While it is debatable how much the theme is present, Edwards said that one of the main ideas driving his reboot of Godzilla was the use of an environmental theme, as expressed quite well in the original Gojira.  Hedorah fits the bill for this theme quite well, giving us a thematic metaphor for a potential story.  Godzilla, already established as nature's protector, has to fight the living embodiment of everything man has done wrong to this planet.  Albeit not an outright terrible concept, but Hedorah's design is simply so atrocious that so many (needed) changes would be made that the resulting character would look nothing like what Toho fans know.

3. Gabara
First Appearance: All Monsters Attack (1969)
Why He Should NOT Be In The Sequel: Much like Gigan, Gabara's design is not outright horrible by Kaiju standards.  In fact, Gabara's similarities to both dinosaurs and dragons commonly associated with Asian culture mean the monster would not necessarily be too far of a stretch for general audiences.  The problem exists in how Gabara is used in Toho's films.  Known as a "dream ogre," Gabara is the living embodiment of a school bully to young Ichiro in All Monsters Attack.  Ichiro is picked on quite a bit in school.  So, to find a way to deal with his problems, Ichiro has a dream about visiting Monster Island, where, with the help of Godzilla and the next monster on our list, he can confront his metaphorical demons.  As Gabara exists only in dreams, it would not be feasible for him to show up in any sequel to Edwards' film.  True, Gabara could be altered to exist outside of the dreamscape, but, given that the monster is associated with what is widely considered the worst Godzilla film ever made, it is hard to say die hard fans would be jumping for joy at his inclusion.

2. Minya (Minilla)
First Appearance: Son of Godzilla (1967)
Why He Should NOT Be In The Sequel: No.  Just no.  Minya is by far the absolute worst thing Toho ever came up with (this is saying a lot for a studio that came up with a giant cyborg chicken as a monster).  Minya, as his first appearance film states, is the son of Godzilla.  That's right...somewhere along the line of stomping cities and fighting monsters, Godzilla had time to settle down with a never revealed female Godzilla and have a baby.  As Minya is still young, he can only blow smoke rings, although the familial radioactive breath can be summoned...as long as Godzilla is standing on Minya's tail.  Did we mention Minya can also talk?  Yeah...it's pretty pathetic.  If the description so far has not given you enough of an idea as to why this character should not only not be in a sequel to Godzilla but should NEVER be in this franchise at all, then you'll just have to take our word for it.  Even with how horrible and annoying Minya can be, including him in the franchise would not be nearly as egregious as this last monster...

1. Mechagodzilla
First Appearance: Godzilla versus Mechagodzilla (1974)
Why He Should NOT Be In The Sequel: This may be, admittedly, the most shocking choice for this list.  Mechagodzilla just may be Godzilla's most known foe, even though Ghidorah is a far superior villain.  Mechagodzilla represents just about everything campy about the kaiju genre.  Can't defeat a monster?  Build a giant robot that looks exactly like him and rebuild it with more weapons each time it gets defeated.  Although Mechagodzilla IS an interesting villain at times and has even defeated Godzilla on more than one occasion, he just does not work for the world Gareth Edwards has created.  As much as Godzilla stretches realism, it is a more realistic take on the character as well as the ways the world would respond to such a threat.  While Mechagodzilla's origins are also alien, it would be very easy to see the character being altered as a completely human creation.  The problem is, you completely lose your audience when you do this.  Pacific Rim was a fun, campy love letter to the kaiju genre.  Godzilla, for better or worse, is NOT Pacific Rim.  Having that beautiful monster from the movie fight a giant robot version of himself would be beyond stupid.  Mechagodzilla would be an even bigger franchise breaker than if Matthew Broderick were to return to the series.

Agree with the choices here?  Have some picks of your own for monsters that don't belong in the world of the film?  Leave your answers in the comments below!

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