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Friday, February 1, 2013

Our Top 10 Favorite Parks & Rec Quotes

With the absence of Parks & Rec this week, we thought it would be appropriate to compile a list of our favorite quotes/moments over the years. It was difficult to create a list that wasn't solely filled with Ron Swanson quotes, but we did our best. 


10. "Leslie, I typed your symptoms into the thing up here and it says you could have network connectivity problems." 
-- Andy Dwyer, Season 3, Episode 2, Flu Season

9.  "Well, Paunch Burger just recently came out with a new 128 ounce option. Most people call it a gallon, but they call it the Regular. Then there is a horrifying 512 ounce version that they call Child Size. How is this a child size soda?" 
"Well, it's roughly the size of a two-year old child, if the child were liquified. It's a real bargain at $1.59." 
--Leslie Knope & Kathryn, Season 5, Episode 2, Soda Tax


8. "Seniors can get pretty ornery." 
"I think it's pronounced 'horny.'" 
Ann Perkins & Andy Dwyer, Season 5, Episode 4, Sex Education

7. "I was, uh, dropping my niece off." 
"What's your niece's name?" 
"Torpel. What?! I don't know. That's not a name. I don't have a niece. My niece's name is Stephanie?"
--Leslie Knope & Ann Perkins, Season 2, Episode 4, Practice Date

6. "I am an official member of the task force dedicated to slashing the city budget. Just saying that gave me a semi." 
-- Ron Swanson, Season 2, Episode 24, Freddy Spaghetti

5. "Just give me all the bacon and eggs you have. Wait, wait. I'm worried what you just heard was, 'Give me a lot of bacon and eggs.' What I said was, "Give me all the bacon and eggs you have". Do you understand?" 
-- Ron Swanson, Season 3, Episode 6, Indianapolis  

4. "What is your ideal man?" 
"He has the brains of George Clooney and the body of Joe Biden." 
-- Ann Perkins & Leslie Knope, Season 2, Episode 13, The Set Up

3. "What is wrong with you today? Did they cancel Game of Thrones?" 
"Nothing is wrong, just do your job. And they would never cancel Game of Thrones. It's a crossover hit. It's not just for fantasy enthusiasts, they're telling human stories in a fantasy world." 
-- Donna Meagle & Ben Wyatt, Season 4, Episode 4, Pawnee Rangers

2. “Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.”
-- Ron Swanson, Season 3, Episode 1, Go Big or Go Home 

1. " 'Zerts are what I call desserts. Tray-trays are entrees. I call sandwiches sammies, sandoozles, or Adam Sandlers. Air conditioners are cool blasterz, with a z. I don't know where that came from. I call cakes big ol' cookies. I call noodles long-ass rice. Fried chicken is fri-fri chicky-chick. Chicken parm is chicky chicky parm parm. Chicken cacciatore? Chicky catch. I call eggs pre-birds, or future birds. Root beer is super water. Tortillas are bean blankies. And I call forks...food rakes." 
-- Tom Haverford, Season 3, Episode 10, "Soulmates"
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1 comment:

  1. To this day I still call chicken parmesan chicky chicky parm parm. I can't stop doing it.

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